During the pandemic, many customers have bemoaned empty shelves in area Krogers when shopping for common items like meat, produce, cleaning supplies, hand sanitizer and the ever elusive toilet paper.

As a long suffering Kroger shopper, I feel no compassion for these whiners. I’ve found Kroger shelves bare of needed items for years.

Kroger hasn’t met demand on any given day for fresh leeks, King Arthur Flour, crème fraîche, beef brisket, or Duke’s Mayonnaise (I could go on). The loud pouts of COVID19 hoarders earn no sympathy from me. Why have these good citizens waited until now to complain? Where were they when Kroger ran short of the above items? That I needed?

Despite the current and long-standing shortages, I reserve high praise for the Murray’s Cheese Shop inside the Union Avenue Kroger near my home. The variety of imported and American made cheese offerings rivals many local grocers. It was here that I discovered my love for Jarlsberg Cheese Spread – a delicious combination of Swiss cheese of Norwegian progeny, red onion, and mayonnaise.

If you’ve not had it, imagine a pimento cheese with a slightly sweet and nutty flavor and savory onion in place of sharp cheddar and sweet pimento. When we could still entertain guests, we often amused our bouches with crackers and a bowl of this cheese spread over cocktails. “What is this stuff?” they would ask as they smeared more spread on a new cracker.

With my little secret out, pandemic hoarders may begin filling the deep freezers in their underground bunkers with Kroger’s Jarlsberg cheese spread. But you’re in luck! I offer an easy and even better recipe for this cheese spread that you can make yourself.

Real Jarlsberg cheese from Norway would be lost in the flavors of this dip. Just buy a plain 8-ounce block of generic Swiss cheese. Lie to your guests if you must. They will get over it. Besides, they can’t come see you until it’s safe for authorities to lift shelter-in-place orders.

Cracked Pepper and Olive Oil Triscuits pair well with the spread.